I am laying on my bed right now – it’s 11:54pm. Why didn’t I fall asleep when I attempted to a bit ago? Well, because I am replaying things in my head that I could have done differently… and things I should have done and didn’t get done… and things I probably shouldn’t have done but did anyways. Lol.
Except; I did whatever I already did just that way and cannot go back…. and didn’t do that thing and do not own a time traveling device…. and yes I did do that other thing. So, what am I going to do about it? NOTHING! haha (Okay, besides write about it here and then fall asleep after.) 🙂
So maybe I spoke too much and should learn how not to all the time. So maybe I got overly excited about something that isn’t even mine yet and went overboard about it. So maybe I spoke too bluntly in order to protect my own heart and may have hurt another’s. So maybe I over-committed and now have to figure out how to get it all done. So maybe I took some selfish time to myself and didn’t do something I intended to. So maybe I completely allowed myself to be vulnerable.
Tomorrow I can practice pausing before I talk – again. Tomorrow I can laugh at myself, and just roll my own eyes at how much like a teenager I still can be. Tomorrow I can make an honest apology for a potential offense I may have made. Tomorrow I can bust my ass to get things done that I promised I would do… and rest later. Tomorrow I can smile and be thankful that I had enough spare time to take a selfish moment, then just get it done. Tomorrow I can take a deep breath and realize that I have come a long way if I have actually allowed myself to be vulnerable again…. and to quote a good friend’s advice, “If you can’t risk it, you can’t win it.”
What is my point to my now 12:10am rambling? (Oh I hope I’m making sense as I type away at the keyboard of my iPhone just trying to not have too many typos or not use text lingo in my blog! Haha) My point is: Do not beat yourself up. What’s done is done… I there’s a fire to fix, damage control to be done, just do it quickly. Bad news only gets worse with time. Like old food in your refrigerator. Lol. You’ll never regret doing the right thing.
Now, I am done thinking about today. And I’m sleepy. 🙂
Sonya… She Idealist