She Idealist

Idealism over Realism… yes please!!

Archive for the month “January, 2012”

Emotionally Needy

Do you ever have moments when you feel emotionally needy?  I like to usually think that I am Superwoman, and have great control over my emotions.  Well, let me just tell you that I have discovered that even I…. yes, even Superwoman can feel all girly and emotional.   And you know what I discovered through this realization?  Feeling girly & emotionally needy sucks!!!!!  HAHAHAHA

Okay, so I ran into my emotionally needy side this week, and she needs a serious slap in the face and a wake up call to reality!  I mean seriously!  I couldn’t even put up with myself!  HA!

OMG - I laughed SO hard when I saw this, when I was searching for an image to use for this post!

(OMG - I laughed SO hard when I saw this apology e-card for being emotionally needy, as I was searching for an image to use for this post!)

Since I am an analyzer and try to be very self-aware and always learning, I have decided to take this as a learning experience and a very humbling one at that.  The Lord seems to be telling me to “just be okay” with something specifically and my little vulnerable girl inside of me that tries to pretend she’s all big & bad & tough all of the time is throwing a complete tantrum, much like that of a 2-year-old child in a store that isn’t getting her way, screaming “but I don’t WANT to just be okay, I want it NOW!”  I know I can be a little impatient sometimes, meaning when I have fully made up my mind on something, I want to take the steps to accomplish it immediately.  However, this weeks’ little wake-up call to myself being all too vulnerable to being emotionally needy like the rest of the female population that I attempt to tell myself that I can be stronger than, has shown me that I truly needed someone to grab me by the shoulders, give me a good shake to wake up, and then look me straight in the eyes and say, “Sonya, REALLY!?!?!?!?? Shut up and just listen to reason.”

So…. this random post is for all of you men out there that may deal with women who become emotionally needy.  We are completely sorry you have to deal with this EVER!!!!  However, at the exact same time that I am apologizing for this I want to try to help you deal with it when you have to.  (And no, I’m sorry it does not always come every 30 days on a calendar as my little “momentary girly spout” did not, it was completely random…. so you cannot schedule it. LOL)  From what I can tell you, the absolutely WORST thing that you can do is to ignore us in these moments.  When girls get all “girly” all they really want and need is a really long hug, maybe some kisses, and to be reassured and reassured and reassured that we are okay, that we are special, that we are valued, that we are worth it.  I promise you that the “girly” phase will pass much quicker if you deal with it just like any math problem, and look at it as any issue we may bring to you to help us with around the house.  Instead of the household item breaking and needing figured out how to be fixed… it’s us that needs your “what can I do to help” moment.  And normally you cannot “fix” it… but you CAN be there, you CAN help it pass much faster by just doing a little extra reassuring of us (even if you have to roll your eyes… just don’t let us see you rolling them because we might cry and think we’re not worth it! HAHAHAHA)…. I know I know, this is silly!  Believe me… I felt silly feeling this way!  BUT hey, we are girls…. you like us being girls right!?!?!?  Well, I guess this comes with ALL girls at one point or another!  So… hopefully you can learn to deal with it in a loving manner and hopefully I have helped give you a little insight into getting through it with us.

The reason that this is SUCH a surprise to me, that even I can be so girly and need such affirmations???  Well, have you ever read “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman?  If you haven’t; you should!!!!  In fact, if you want to know what your love language is, go here and take this short test: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/.  I own this and about every other relational, communication, and leadership book.  I love learning about people, personalities, and how to best talk with, work with, communicate with, different people in order to best succeed on all levels of life (personally, professionally, spiritually, etc.).  Okay, back to the opening sentence of this paragraph.  The reason that this is SUCH a surprise to me, that even I can be so girly and need such affirmations, is because “Words of Affirmations” is in my bottom two.  What that means is that I don’t really NEED to be verbally affirmed to feel loved… at all.  So, ummmm, yeah…. I get a little surprised when I feel all emotionally needy! HAHAHAHA  In fact, it hit be straight across the face with a great big, “Yes, even YOU can get this way!”  Humbling… yes.  Fun… no!  LOL

….

….

Big sigh…. a little laugh at myself…. and a great big wish that I wasn’t all emotional sometimes…. and even still a thankfulness that God has reminded me that I am human, and that I need other people, and that I need HIM still every day!

Sonya… She Idealist.

Advertisements

Bucket List!

Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans. –John Lennon

What is a Bucket List? Simply put, it’s a list of things to do before you die… or “kick the bucket.” Do you have a bucket list? Maybe you have some listed in your head. Why not put them down on paper and make it official?! This turns them from wishes into life goals. And a goal, my friend, is something that can have an action plan and reality to be accomplished! So… write them down! If you want to take it a step farther even, share it with friends. You never know… maybe they can help you start checking some of them off! I mean, none of us know when we will “kick the bucket” so why the heck not start working on doing yours today!? Three cheers for the Bucket List!

THE BEGINNING OF MY BUCKET LIST! (oh yes, this is only the beginning…)

  • Have my children around every day
  • Learn to play the violin
  • Take my children and I to CA to visit my family for holidays, as well as in the summer to experience CA palm trees, beaches & oceans, Knott’s Berry Farm, and all of my favorite memories…. at least twice per year.
  • Hire a photographer to follow my family & I around for our entire vacation to capture all of the REAL moments
  • Make YouTube videos reenactments of my favorite movie & musical moments with my BFF Justine (and other friends)
  • Go on an African Safari
  • Go salsa dancing in Cuba
  • Finally go competitive in dancing again… this time in Ballroom, Latin, Swing
  • Have my favorite artistic portrait commissioned & painted, and hanging in my living room
  • Travel to Paris: shop at the top fashion stores, eat amazing French food, visit the most historical places, as well as the quaint inland spots, oh and reenact many Audrey Hepburn movie moments!! 🙂
  • Learn to speak fluent French
  • Teach my children to speak fluent French
  • Learn to speak fluent Italian
  • Teach my children to speak fluent Italian
  • Learn to speak fluent Spanish
  • Teach my children to speak fluent Spanish
  • Learn to play the piano well
  • Travel to Italy: visit the key places all over Italy, as well as family of friends in Sicily & have a huge Italian dinner party with them! Shop in the top fashion stores, eat at the best Italian eateries, drink wine at the local wineries.
  • Get Scuba Certified
  • Hand Paint a large canvas for my house with my children
  • Write a book that parallels the thoughts and inspirations of my blog
  • Write a steamy romance novel
  • Snorkeling in Cabo
  • Sunbathing in Costa Rica
  • Take my children to Disney World
  • Go to all the 6Flags and ride all the roller coasters
  • Ride in a Hot Air Balloon, and have a romantic picnic once it lands in a grass field.
  • Go Para-sailing
  • Take my children to a Cubs game
  • Take my children to a Yankees game
  • Form a ladies bowling league called the “Pink Ladies” with outfits to match the Grease movie characters!
  • Travel to all 50 States
  • Visit the Pyramids
  • Spend NYE at NY Time Square
  • Go to England: visit all the great key places, plus the inland quaint spots.
  • Experience Carnival in Rio de Janeiro
  • Go White Water Rafting
  • See the Northern Lights
  • Go on a shopping spree with NO dollar amount limit!!!!!
  • Swim with dolphins
  • Learn Sign Language
  • Teach my children Sign Language
  • Go to the Kentucky Derby
  • Go to Australia
  • Go to Greece
  • Go Hang Gliding
  • Go to Japan
  • Ride a camel
  • Go Zorbing
  • Attend the US Open
  • Attend Wimbledon
  • Learn to fly a plane
  • Go to an Opera
  • Attend Mardi Gras in New Orleans
  • Own my dream house (buy or build)
  • Learn water skiing
  • Be in a Hollywood Movie
  • Perfect my tennis serve
  • Learn to fly fish
  • Learn English Jumping on horseback
  • Become a millionairess
  • Be happily married for the rest of my life
  • Help orphan children find forever homes

BUCKET LIST ITEMS I’VE ALREADY ACCOMPLISHED!

  • Go Skydiving
  • Throw a Masquerade Ball
  • Throw an elaborate birthday party for someone who has never had a birthday party
  • See a show on Broadway
  • Sing Karaoke
  • Go Ziplining
  • Go Rockclimbing
  • Skiing in Colorado
  • Race cars in a classic muscle car
  • Race cars in a sports car
  • Take Auto Shop, learn how to & build an engine
  • Kiss in the rain
  • Go to a drive-in movie theater
  • Go skinnydipping
  • Go to a concert
  • Go on a cruise
  • Get CPR & First Aid Certified
  • Kiss under the mistletoe
  • Go puddle jumping after a rain
  • Roller Skate the boardwalk from one beach to another in CA
  • Go to Hawaii
  • Lava Cliff Diving
  • Body Boarding
  • Fly first class
  • Donate Blood
  • Laugh until I cry
  • Go to a red carpet movie premiere
  • Watch a movie star get their star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in person
  • Go to a wig shoppe with my daughter and spend all day trying on every wig & modeling them!
  • Buy a wig and wear it out anytime I feel like looking like someone else – do this more than once
  • Visit the Grand Canyon
  • Ride an elephant
  • Sleep under the stars in the mountains
  • Go to a horse race: bet on a horse
  • Ride in a gondola with an operatic singing guide
  • Play craps in Vegas
  • Sail in a regatta
  • Plant a tree
  • Learn to ride a horse
  • Own a horse
  • Write a song
  • Write a blog
  • Go grape stomping
  • Go to the Symphony – many times
  • Go to a professional ballet – many times
  • Perform ballet in front of a large auditorium audience
  • Start a dance company
  • Own my own company = work for myself
  • Learn to shoot many types of handgun
  • Go horse camping
  • Make homemade ice cream
  • Sign up to become an organ donor
  • Be a pen-pal
  • Put my hand print into wet concrete
  • Type 80 words per minute
  • Learn snow skiing
  • Take full part in Japanese Tea Ceremony – in full traditional attire
  • Learn to Swing Dance
  • Learn to Ballroom Dance
  • Learn to Latin Dance
  • Visit a Renaissance Fair
  • Go Kayaking
  • Go Canoeing
  • Drive a speedboat
  • Ride a jet ski
  • Go tubing down a river
  • Ride a horse bareback
  • Go ice skating
  • Go roller skating
  • Race in a roller speed skating race
Like I said… this is only the beginning! I will surely be adding to it constantly. I equally hope to be crossing many more items off of this list constantly!
QUESTION: So, what am I missing that I absolutely must do?!
Sonya… She Idealist.

What do you do in a “funk” mood?

I am taking a side-step from my normal posts to “just blog” for a moment.  Do you ever have an awkward “funk” that creeps into your day?  I had one right this very evening.  So, I decided to stop it in it’s tracks toward me and instead re quote to myself my answer to this question: What do you do in a “funk” mood?

Mine – this evening – wasn’t really due to anything in particular.  Well, I retract that… if I am to be completely 100% transparent… I am sitting in my house alone and well… it’s just too quiet.  Do you ever feel that way?  When my children are at their father’s house, this house doesn’t feel like a home anymore.  My normal response is to stay extremely busy with projects for work, or around my house painting or building something or organizing something, and thankfully I have a small inner-circle of a few very close friends that I can either talk on the phone with or hang out with.  I am not a bit “going out” gal, as it’s just not super fun for me.  I would much rather have friends over to my house for dinner… and well, I do try and do that at least once a month.  (And yes, they are normally themed events… that’s just how I roll! HAHA)  I had great plans tonight of finishing painting a bedroom that I am putting in beautiful champagne and camel colored stripes, however instead I decided to simply relax for a little bit.  Those quiet moments when you are ‘alone with your thoughts’ are when it’s easiest for negativity to attempt to creep in.  Don’t let it!!!  Gaining power over your thoughts is doable.  I know I have recently talked about this in another blog.  I suppose the main purpose of this random blog post is to let you know that yes, I am human.  I have moments of “funk” moods just like everyone else.  The difference is that as soon as it happens, I get rid of it!  If one attempt doesn’t work… change your attempt.  Guess what, it’s YOUR mind.  You own it.  So… own it!!!

What other things do I do to get rid of a “funk” mood?  Right now, I’m blogging, and it’s gone because I my mind on this instead.  On that note: for those of you whom have never written in a journal (or a very public form of that… a blog), it’s very uplifting.  It releases so much of your worries as soon as you place them onto the pages of your journal, or type them into your computer.  Besides that what do I do?  Exercise.  I love Pilates.  Oh, and my Wii gets some of my attention… it’s active, and I love all things active.  If it were beautiful outside, or I was still in California, I would be outside right now.  Oh how the outdoors make me feel better.  There’s a lake right by my house with trails that get a lot of my time during great weather.  I love a good conversation as well… sometimes I simply pick up my phone or text or IM (hey, it’s 2012) and have a good chat with a friend.

What about you?  I am curious… what do you do in a “funk” mood?

Already out of my “funk” mood!

Sonya… She Idealist.

Important Things # 25 ~ Make time just to have fun

I am always surprised when I find out that not everyone is as educated on “childhood fun” as I am.  Maybe it’s because I have children of my own and adore play-time with them so much.  I can cross back and forth from adult professional and proper to childlike playfulness so effectively, that I suppose I am baffled at why some people don’t seem to be born with the “play” piece inside of them.  This is a lesson that absolutely needs to be learned for every single person on this planet.  There is not much in this world that more fun and fullfilling than deep belly laughs from pure childlike fun.  So, today in this blog, I am striving to help you all see the need and learn how to make time just to have fun.

Happiness is helped along SO much by laughter and having wholesome fun.  I am not completely sure how to put this into words… so I am instead going to put this out via a picture slideshow and video blog for you.

Click to play this Smilebox slideshow
Create your own slideshow - Powered by Smilebox
Create your own digital slideshow

And now some VIDEOS of some “Making time just to have fun” moments!

Playing JustDance3 on Wii

Playing in Toys ‘R Us!! (Just because)

Making Snow Angels with my kids!!

Now, I must leave you…. I’m having girl time with a best friend, watching sappy girly movies… just to have fun!

Sonya… She Idealist.

Post Navigation

%d bloggers like this: