She Idealist

Idealism over Realism… yes please!!

Archive for the month “August, 2013”

When Decisions Get Scary

There are many things in life we have to make decisions about.  Some happen daily. “What am I going to wear today?” “What am I going to eat for lunch?” Some happen less often…. some only a few times in our lives. “What car do I want to buy?” “Is this the right person to step into a relationship with?” “Which career path should I take?”

When decisions get scary and can alter your entire life path once you make them… how do YOU handle that?

I am an over-analyzer, a researcher, a planner.  What does this mean as it pertains to decision-making?  Well, it means that I try to know everything possible up front, before I make a decision.  This is both good and bad.  Good because I have normally foreseen potential problems that most would not think to look for.   (I said “normally” because I have definitely missed some things too, even in all my “research” LOL!) Bad because it takes me longer to make a decision than some and I can over-think myself out of something that could be good.  Does anyone else do this besides me?

There is a big difference between my big decision making now as I am an adult, than when I was a teenager or young-adult.  Heck, there is even a big different between my decision making now as compared to 5 years ago!  It seems that the older I get and the more experiences I walk through, the less brave to just GO before looking both ways and both ways again I become.  This too is good and bad.  I do miss my reckless abandon I once had.  The 16 year old who jumped before looking with blind faith, even if there was always a level of “what if” panic in my mind, I had FULL faith that everything would be okay… no matter what.  Maybe I have fallen at the end of too many jumps and have had too may bones broken.  Maybe “wisdom” to look both ways and then look both ways again is a great thing.  Then again, maybe one can be TOO careful as well.  Maybe we have to find a balance of wise decision making and bold faith to just take that step knowing that if you do fall one more time, that you can get back up again, just like you have before.  The ground may be a lot farther down than it was when you were younger… and that’s scary.  Believe me, I know.  And maybe the “fear” of the unknown when you are a “grown up” has a little to do with not having Mommy or Daddy around to help pick up your pieces anymore.  It’s ALL up to you now.

Okay… I am not making myself or you feel any better at this point, I am sure of it.   I may have in fact, made it worse now.  HA  Still, I miss having THAT much faith.  The reality of the world: the bills that have to be paid, the relationships that don’t work out, the friendships that fade away, the jobs that end, the surviving that has to be done… all of these things can wear down your spirit.  It is easier to just not do than to do and maybe fail.  However, that is NOT living… that is ONLY surviving!  No one should merely survive and work and eat and sleep.

I have made many mistakes in my life.  Many even recently.  However today, I was reminded of a quote that my grandmother has said to me many many times.  “Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting “Holy Shit… What a ride!” (Excuse the language…)

What a ride!

What a ride!

I may need to read and reread this “motto” a few times again… to remind myself that even if I (or you) make mistakes, at least we were brave enough to make a hard decision and take that step.  Keep walking!  Yes, it is still wise to research and analyze.  Yes, it is still wise to look both ways before you cross the street… you can even look twice.  However eventually you should walk across that street.  Otherwise, just turn around and walk a different direction… just don’t become stagnant in your life, having no direction or purpose or movement forward at all.  And remember, forward can be any direction that you are facing.  Look around you today.  Do you like the way you are going?  Do you see anything in front of you worth walking to? IF so…. WALK!!!! Or even run.  If not, look around and find another direction to walk in.

One last note… fear can be good IF you use it to motivate you to move.  Make the fear of standing still and doing nothing more powerful than the fear of what could be or could not be ahead of you in life.  I believe in you… and I believe in me.  🙂

I love you all & wish you the best!

 

Until next time…

Sonya… She Idealist.

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