She Idealist

Idealism over Realism… yes please!!

Archive for the month “November, 2013”

Why do I live my life publicly?

Why do I live my life publicly?

Ever since I can remember, as early as being a school aged kid, I can remember sitting in my classrooms and hearing others talking amongst themselves with questions of things they didn’t understand or didn’t know the answers to or didn’t agree with, but were too embarrassed or scared to say out loud. I would immediately raise my hand and voice the question or concern, as if it was my own, just to help them. Because I have never been afraid of speaking up. I have never been afraid of looking foolish publicly. Or of people talking about me.

I was just born with a much thicker layer of skin than most people I suppose when it comes to this arena. And with this realization, I have always felt it my purpose or calling if you will to speak out for those who cannot. Because I can.

This blog, my FB page, my life…. are all platforms I have to help others. What I have is my voice and an audience bigger than most peoples. So why would I not do what I am able to do?!

For the 3 people who have questioned or disagreed with this part of me before, there are multitudes for each of those 3 who send me messages thanking me for what I do. Letting me know it helps so much. Asking me to please continue.

If I am going through something, have a thought about something, witness something noteworthy in life….. then someone else somewhere else has as well. And someone is feeling alone in their emotions and struggles and life happenings. If my vulnerable transparency helps them, then I have done what I was meant to do. Help others with the gifts and talents given me.

I will not apologize for this part of my life. It has been here since I was a young girl. It will remain as long as I have a platform and a voice to make a difference in people’s lives.

Transparently yours,

Sonya… She Idealist

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UPDATE:

I wrote this blog and wee hours of the morning after late phone call and being questioned about this part of my life. I then put down my iPhone until today so that I would have time to spellcheck before publishing. Then… My phone rang at 8 o’clock this morning by a girl many miles away that I haven’t spoken to in years, because she saw my most recent emotionally transparent FB post. Thanking me for posting. Going through something that was in need of the exact words. We talked for over an hour and I am so thankful for her and her heart.

It was wonderful to receive confirmation within hours of being questioned for this part of my life!

Sonya… She Idealist.

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You are never promised another minute!

I am thankful and grateful that my mother ingrained into me the thought process to never leave someone, no matter how mad, without letting them know how I truly feel for them.  I try my hardest to let my friends, family and loved ones always realize what they mean to me.  I do not always do perfectly, however I hope that I successfully drill this point home with those close to my heart.

I have been recently reminded, very tragically, that you are never promised another minute with anyone!  You never know what will happen.  You never know when or if something might happen and take that person away from you!  The best way to appreciate someone is to imagine your life without them!

How horrible would you feel if your last words were not nice words.  If you rushed out the door in your normal hustle and bustle and didn’t take the extra 2 minutes to hug and kiss and hold them, even briefly.  And please… if this has held true for you, please please do not hold yourself accountable.  Please do not put yourself under the major emotional stress of claiming any guilt or wrong-doing.  We are humans and all make mistakes.  You were truly just living normal life.

We all need to do better at this! Take this moment, literally STOP right now, and call that person you fought with last.  Look at them, if they are with you, and soften your heart just enough.  Let them know that no matter what, even if you are still mad, that you do care about them.  Don’t let them out of your sight without dropping your pride and your guards enough to always let them know.  Because… “what if” those are the last words you get to say to them??  What if that was your last moment to touch them??

I pray dearly to God that we can all hear and learn these words!  I pray that we all learn to practice this and not let our pride overtake us and then risk potentially regretting it later.  I pray for myself to continue to do this better and more, and I pray for you to pick up this habit and hold to it tightly.

My heart breaks for my friends going through tragedy right now, and for my friends who have gone through tragedy in the past.  I praise and thank God that I still have so many in my life that I love, even if I cannot be with them everyday.  I am thankful that I have a voice to speak publicly via this blog, and I pray that is helps someone today… to cling to those you love every moment you have them.  To not take those you care about for granted.

I appreciate you all.  I value you following along as I write, a bit too transparently sometimes, from my heart.  Thank you.  I pray that you have an amazing day!  

You're Never Promised Another Minute!

You’re Never Promised Another Minute!

Putting my own words into practice….

Sonya… She Idealist

What other’s think and say…

Why do we as a people care so much about what other’s think and say about us, or don’t say?  Why do we put so much weight on their words and actions towards us?  Are we that insecure and unsure of ourselves?

I like to think that I am a fairly confident and strong person.  However, even I find myself doing this exact thing.  Even yesterday and today I found myself reaching out to someone, and then I was sitting on nervous insecure pins & needles wishing for a positive reply.  I mean REALLY!?  Is it really that bad if someone doesn’t like me?  Is it really that bad if someone doesn’t feel like replying to me?  Is my world really going to end if I get my feelings hurt or heart broken?

The answer that you or I do not want to hear is… NO!  This world keeps turning.  Your life keeps on going.  “This too shall pass.”

My mom used to tell us children all the time, “when things are going bad, just hold on because ‘this too shall pass;’ when things are going good, cherish it because ‘this too shall pass.'”  It was a good life lesson and one that also means that no matter what, this world keeps turning.  Change is hard, but can also be exciting.

We should try to practice and learn that others think and say about or to us, or choose not to say to us, really is not quite as important as our hearts think it is.  Today, I have had to practice the old “out of sight, out of mind” approach.  Some people are better at this than others.  I am a slightly impatient person and seem to want answers faster than they are really absolutely NEEDED.  I need to slow down, take a deep breath, and just allow myself to be vulnerable.  If I have reached out to someone, it is their prerogative if they reply or how they reply to me.  I have to allow whatever will be to be.  I have done my part, and I then need to let go of it.

You are still who you are.  Anything they could say or do does not change who you are!  Just be okay with who and where you are.  If they don’t reply or don’t reply the way you hoped.  Just take a calming breath, and move on.  It is really okay.  You are really okay.

I love you and am giving you a big cyber hug right now.

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