She Idealist

Idealism over Realism… yes please!!

Archive for the month “March, 2014”

I’m only human…

I’m only human…

There is a new song out by Christina Perri called Human.  Her lyrics and video are perfection.  If you are anything like me… the one who’s always supposed to be strong, the one who’s always looked to, the one who put so much pressure on themselves… then you understand the idea that we feel the need to be almost more than human.  Every once in a while someone comes around and we allow them to see beyond our tough exterior into our broken and tattered interior selves.  How nearly unbearable is that moment, the secret insecurity we hold that they will no longer look up to us or think of us as grand if they see how weak we truly feel most of the time.  We are just better of not showing that to the world.

Sadly those so close to us can also put too many expectations upon us, as we build up our “more than human” persona every day to everyone including them.  And even though those few people know exactly how strong and weak equally we really are, they have come to expect our resilience and tenacity at somehow always getting back up no matter how many times we are knocked down.  When THOSE people are the ones who knock us down however… wow, that fall seems SO much harder! It’s as if they that know our shattered interiors, are able to throw them all around with just a flick of their wrists when they are mad at us.  We defintely finally feel human when we realize how tender even our hearts are.  Yes, I know, it’s a tough blow when we have to admit that we are “only human” just like everyone else.

I pray that everyone around us realizes that we are all only human.  We bleed and hurt just like everyone else.  Just like you.  Even though we seem so strong compared to the majority, we have fragile parts and hearts just like the majority.  We are great at being more mechanical in order to be anything we need to be.  Yet, even we have moments when we simply want to scream out at you, “I’m only human!”

“Human” – Christina Perri (lyrics)

I can hold my breath I can bite my tongue I can stay awake for days If that’s what you want Be your number one
I can fake a smile I can force a laugh I can dance and play the part If that’s what you ask Give you all I am
I can do it I can do it I can do it
But I’m only human And I bleed when I fall down I’m only human And I crash and I break down Your words in my head, knives in my heart You build me up and then I fall apart ‘Cause I’m only human
I can turn it on Be a good machine I can hold the weight of worlds If that’s what you need Be your everything
I can do it I can do it I’ll get through it
But I’m only human And I bleed when I fall down I’m only human And I crash and I break down Your words in my head, knives in my heart You build me up and then I fall apart ‘Cause I’m only human
I’m only human I’m only human Just a little human
I can take so much ‘Til I’ve had enough
Cause I’m only human And I bleed when I fall down I’m only human And I crash and I break down Your words in my head, knives in my heart You build me up and then I fall apart ‘Cause I’m only human

Until next time, I will continue being a transparent girl in this world in hopes of making you realize it really is okay to be human.
Sonya… She Idealist.

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