She Idealist

Idealism over Realism… yes please!!

If Today Was Your Last Day

If today was your last day…

If today was the last day of your life, what would you do? Who would you cling to? What would be important? What would not be important?

Sometimes when you put things into proper perspective, all those “issues” and feeling like you need to prove your point, your rightness, yourself… they no longer matter. Drop your boxing gloves, your swords, take all the blame (even if it’s not yours) and turn the other cheek. Is it really worth risking losing every part of it, losing the friendship, losing the relationship, losing the happiness of it.

Sometimes the things you have even crying over or complaining about are not as big of deals as your heart has been breaking over and your mind has been telling you. Your life is not over. The world keeps turning and you can and should refocus your mind onto things that matter more. Put your time and energy into better things.

Sometimes the things you have almost given up on are still options. I know the fight has made you weary and it seems like it’s never going to happen. However, what if you truly gave it ALL again… what could happen. If you did give your all and it did not happen, you would still be here. Life would still be here. Yes it would hurt and it is scary. Is it worth it? Is it so important that it is worth the risk? If so, put away your fear! Put away all of the what ifs. Stop sabotaging steps of your success because you’re actually just afraid of a possible negative outcome!!! Just do it! Try!!! Make the move you’ve been scared to make!

Sometimes we see someone going through something caused by their own actions. Or about to make a really bad choice. You’ve been biting your tongue out of respect or the possibilities of them getting mad at or hurt by you. Do you truly care for them? Is their life happiness worth stepping up and speaking the wisdom they truly need to hear? Is their success and safety and happiness important enough to lay yourself on the line and do the right thing?

Today… take the blame even if it’s not yours. But be genuine in your desire to simply do whatever it takes to stop the fight. Ask for forgiveness for your side. Be honest. Be humble. Life is too short to allow friendships and other relationships to crumble over pride on either side.

Today… Decide to pick yourself up out of your pity party. Find a person even if it’s an audio book person, to help motivate you and uplift your attitude and determination. Choose a course towards a new goal that you’ve been wanting to accomplish and focus your time and energy into this. Every time a negative thought or moment steps in, use it to launch you deeper into an action step towards this goal. Refocus your mind on this.

Today… Take 10 minutes to truly think on the things you are about to give up on. Are they hard things that you truly want and need to focus on and fix? Or are they dead ends that you need to walk away from? If the latter, find a friend who will hold you accountable to staying away. If it is important and deep down you desire that, then stop lolly gagging and get off your tush and fight for it again! Find a friend who can help you when you get beat down or tired. Every boxer needs a person in their corner. Look around you, there is always someone. There is always something. Go to God’s word about this. Pray about it. Put your boxing gloves back on… you are not down for the count otherwise you wouldn’t be able to read this! You are still in the fight!! With enough energy, enough fight, you can do it!!! You can win this. Do it! Be brave enough to lose a fight, while still fighting to win the battle!

Today… Make the person you care about more important than yourself. If you truly love them, if their success and happiness is worth more than your possible hurt feelings, make the decision to step up and be the true friend you say you are. Say the hard words. Help them!

Life is too short!!!!!! Life is too short to have to be right. Life is too short to spend it sad & depressed. Life is too short not to fight for those things you truly want in your life. Life is too short to not help others for the fear of making them upset. Life is too short!!!!

If today was your last day what would you do?


When Decisions Get Scary

There are many things in life we have to make decisions about.  Some happen daily. “What am I going to wear today?” “What am I going to eat for lunch?” Some happen less often…. some only a few times in our lives. “What car do I want to buy?” “Is this the right person to step into a relationship with?” “Which career path should I take?”

When decisions get scary and can alter your entire life path once you make them… how do YOU handle that?

I am an over-analyzer, a researcher, a planner.  What does this mean as it pertains to decision-making?  Well, it means that I try to know everything possible up front, before I make a decision.  This is both good and bad.  Good because I have normally foreseen potential problems that most would not think to look for.   (I said “normally” because I have definitely missed some things too, even in all my “research” LOL!) Bad because it takes me longer to make a decision than some and I can over-think myself out of something that could be good.  Does anyone else do this besides me?

There is a big difference between my big decision making now as I am an adult, than when I was a teenager or young-adult.  Heck, there is even a big different between my decision making now as compared to 5 years ago!  It seems that the older I get and the more experiences I walk through, the less brave to just GO before looking both ways and both ways again I become.  This too is good and bad.  I do miss my reckless abandon I once had.  The 16 year old who jumped before looking with blind faith, even if there was always a level of “what if” panic in my mind, I had FULL faith that everything would be okay… no matter what.  Maybe I have fallen at the end of too many jumps and have had too may bones broken.  Maybe “wisdom” to look both ways and then look both ways again is a great thing.  Then again, maybe one can be TOO careful as well.  Maybe we have to find a balance of wise decision making and bold faith to just take that step knowing that if you do fall one more time, that you can get back up again, just like you have before.  The ground may be a lot farther down than it was when you were younger… and that’s scary.  Believe me, I know.  And maybe the “fear” of the unknown when you are a “grown up” has a little to do with not having Mommy or Daddy around to help pick up your pieces anymore.  It’s ALL up to you now.

Okay… I am not making myself or you feel any better at this point, I am sure of it.   I may have in fact, made it worse now.  HA  Still, I miss having THAT much faith.  The reality of the world: the bills that have to be paid, the relationships that don’t work out, the friendships that fade away, the jobs that end, the surviving that has to be done… all of these things can wear down your spirit.  It is easier to just not do than to do and maybe fail.  However, that is NOT living… that is ONLY surviving!  No one should merely survive and work and eat and sleep.

I have made many mistakes in my life.  Many even recently.  However today, I was reminded of a quote that my grandmother has said to me many many times.  “Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting “Holy Shit… What a ride!” (Excuse the language…)

What a ride!

What a ride!

I may need to read and reread this “motto” a few times again… to remind myself that even if I (or you) make mistakes, at least we were brave enough to make a hard decision and take that step.  Keep walking!  Yes, it is still wise to research and analyze.  Yes, it is still wise to look both ways before you cross the street… you can even look twice.  However eventually you should walk across that street.  Otherwise, just turn around and walk a different direction… just don’t become stagnant in your life, having no direction or purpose or movement forward at all.  And remember, forward can be any direction that you are facing.  Look around you today.  Do you like the way you are going?  Do you see anything in front of you worth walking to? IF so…. WALK!!!! Or even run.  If not, look around and find another direction to walk in.

One last note… fear can be good IF you use it to motivate you to move.  Make the fear of standing still and doing nothing more powerful than the fear of what could be or could not be ahead of you in life.  I believe in you… and I believe in me.  🙂

I love you all & wish you the best!


Until next time…

Sonya… She Idealist.


Think of a moment you would like to create today! Not only should you plan on it, think on it, and make a step towards the making of that moment… you should also ensure that you do not lose the opportunity to make that moment!  I wish more people lived by this moto: COLLECT MOMENTS NOT THINGS!  



Moments are the things that this life is made of.  Every part of your day is an opportunity for a moment of some kind.  Even when you are busy working at your office, you have an opportunity to create a moment even if only by simply smiling and saying hello to those you pass by during your day…. this holds true as you walk through stores.  Even if you are spending your day with your children, you have an opportunity to create a moment by things as simple as singing to them or making a game out of a chore or pausing your normal routine to go outside for a walk.  Even if you are simply running errands with your children in the car, you have an opportunity to create a moment by doing something as silly as playing one of those car travel games (my kids & I love the alphabet game [you have to find words as you’re driving which begin with each letter of the alphabet… in order] for one example) or just make them actually look out the windows and point out shapes in the clouds!

We are around people constantly in our lives.  Let’s not get so caught up in just getting through our days and our lives, and create a lifetime of moments!  Those are what you will remember and what you will be remembered for.

Don’t miss out on moments!  Make them happen!!!

PS – Your attitude can be changed by YOU at any moment in your day.  CHOOSE a good attitude.  And BE the creator of moments for yourself and those all around you.  Even if you feel that others should be the ones making moments happen… why miss out on them by waiting on someone else to come through for you.  YOU be the creator of your moments!!!!!  (Maybe others just don’t know how to do that… show them.  Maybe just maybe, they’ll follow suit!)

Off to create and collect moments…

Sonya… She Idealist

Onto the men…

She Idealist

I touched only briefly on the properness a man should have in my previous post “Feminists will hate me!” when I referred to men opening doors and walking on the correct side of a lady.  In case you are wondering which is the correct side to walk on… it’s the side nearest the traffic, crowd, etc. to protect her.  So, when you cross a street you might even need to switch sides!  Yes sir, it might take you a whole couple of extra steps!  haha (Note to the Ladies: There is nothing wrong with changing the side for him!  I do this all the time, and the men who have ever walked down a street with me know that.  I have no problem with taking a men gently by the arm and pulling him onto the outside of the sidewalk.  Then I giggle and smile, and let him know that’s

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Feminists will hate me!

She Idealist

Oh I pray for a day when women look & act again like women!  Feminine, lady-like, proper when needed to be… women.  Now, before all you feminists get your panties in a wad, just hear me out… I know I have to be careful how I word this blog post, so that I am not misunderstood.

I am all for women having rights, and do not believe we are any less than men at all!  However, I do not believe that we should have to act just like men!  God created man & woman differently on purpose.  Guess what women – you were created to have children, and be a help-mate to man.  Yeah, I know crushing to your feminist ego huh!!!  HAHAHA  Not that I want to be barefoot & pregnant and ordered around by a man.  NOT!  However, I do strongly believe that a man has his place…

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Lifting the weight of life…

The weight of life… of knowing you can’t stop… you can’t give up… because you know others are holding onto your strength. Is very heavy.

Any time you lift heavy weights daily, your muscles grow. You get stronger than you were the month before. Then the next time you lift, more weight has been added onto what was already there before, to keep you growing.  It’s hard.  It’s painful.  Sometimes you’ll even get injured, and yes, it is even possible to hit a physical stopping point momentarily, it can even put you literally in the hospital if you haven’t been keeping up with the proper way to lift the weights of life.  But the human body is an amazing thing!  It heals.  Your body heals itself enough to allow you to pick up weights again, and continue on the process.  (Sometimes, starting over from small 5lb weights and retraining your body from the beginning.)

Once you have been lifting weights long enough you get skilled at it.  Skilled enough that when you see someone lifting nearby and their form is completely wrong; so wrong that they could truly hurt themselves if they lift too heavily like that.  You know what I mean, we’ve all been in that spot of not knowing, some of us are still there in many areas!  So it’s your choice… do you just stand by and watch them lifting, assuming they will figure out how to lift well enough over time on their own? Or do you step in, politely, and offer to help show them… “mentor” them… in how to lift it properly?  We will all get to a point in life when we will have others perhaps follow us, ask us, watch us, lean on us for advice. That my friends is an even heavier weight to lift.  Yet, how could you not?!  Yet again, if you do, please only teach what you know!  Do not act arrogant and attempt to show someone how to deadlift if you yourself are only skilled at dumbells!  Teach what you know well… no more.  And never ever stop learning yourself and seeking out mentors and teachers for those weights which you still are not as skilled with as well.

We all need help with some area in our lives; a weight we still struggle lifting.  I do.  And when you ignore those who are attempting to assist show you how to lift a weight, you are  not only hurting yourself, you are also taking away their opportunity to be a teacher, to give, to help, to bless.  Do you remember the saying so many of us were told when we were in middle school; “The best way to learn, is to teach.”  So, when you don’t allow someone to teach you something they have learned, you are stunting their continued growth as well.

Back in the gym I go,

Sonya… She Idealist

I have neglected you…

Wow… I cannot believe it has been so long since I have posted.  I am so very sorry for going MIA for so long!  My “life” just got insanely busy and hectic and I allowed it to simply overtake my time.  So any free time that I had, I was either playing with my children, or attempting to catch up on sleep (of which I am still not caught up on yet!).  I thought about needing to write, and wanting to write, and knowing exactly what posts i need and want to write about…. yet, I never set apart the time to do it.

So, please… accept my sincere apology for dropping the ball on my blog writing.  I am here though.  Just in case you have been wondering.  🙂

And, I am back.  I will write a “real blog” very shortly!

p.s. I DID however, have this promotional image shot, which is probably the one image which captures ME more than any other I have had taken in a very long time!  🙂

Sonya... She Idealist

Sonya… She Idealist


Sonya… She Idealist.  😀

Strong Life Test (for women)

I am, and always have been intrigued by human profiling, personality testing, communication, leadership, and the like.  I am constantly learning about such things about myself and others to be a better person personally, as well as learn to better communicate and interact with other people.  This is a new one to me… about your leadership roles in life (for women).

WOMEN: Take this test

"Find Your Strongest Life" by Marcus Buckingham

"Find Your Strongest Life" by Marcus Buckingham


Leading Role = Motivator

Supporting Role = Equalizer

I’d say they hit that nail pretty much on the head! lol Share what yours are!!

Your motivator,

Sonya… She Idealist

This Warrior is a Child

This Warior is a Child

This song (lyrics below) is not written by me in any way… I simply wanted to share something that speaks to me with you.  For all of you who fight a battle of your own, whatever that battle may be.  From me to you… I know how you feel.  When you fall down and cry, and all you want is your daddy to pick you up, because you really just feel like a little young helpless child.  I feel you.  I understand.  He is with you.  You are not alone… ever.

Watch this video…

Twila Paris – Warrior Is A Child Lyrics

Lately I’ve been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I’m amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don’t see inside of me
I’m hiding all the tears

They  don’t know that I go running home when I fall down
They don’t know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
‘Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child

Unafraid because His armor is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People  say that I’m amazing
Never face retreat
But they don’t see the enemies
That lay me at His feet

They don’t know that I go running home when I  fall down
They don’t know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my  sword and and cry for just a while
‘Cause deep inside this armor the warrior is a child

They don’t know that I go running home when I fall down
They don’t know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword  and look up for a smile
‘Cause deep inside this armor
Deep inside this armor
Deep inside this armor
The Warrior is a Child

Emotionally Needy

Do you ever have moments when you feel emotionally needy?  I like to usually think that I am Superwoman, and have great control over my emotions.  Well, let me just tell you that I have discovered that even I…. yes, even Superwoman can feel all girly and emotional.   And you know what I discovered through this realization?  Feeling girly & emotionally needy sucks!!!!!  HAHAHAHA

Okay, so I ran into my emotionally needy side this week, and she needs a serious slap in the face and a wake up call to reality!  I mean seriously!  I couldn’t even put up with myself!  HA!

OMG - I laughed SO hard when I saw this, when I was searching for an image to use for this post!

(OMG - I laughed SO hard when I saw this apology e-card for being emotionally needy, as I was searching for an image to use for this post!)

Since I am an analyzer and try to be very self-aware and always learning, I have decided to take this as a learning experience and a very humbling one at that.  The Lord seems to be telling me to “just be okay” with something specifically and my little vulnerable girl inside of me that tries to pretend she’s all big & bad & tough all of the time is throwing a complete tantrum, much like that of a 2-year-old child in a store that isn’t getting her way, screaming “but I don’t WANT to just be okay, I want it NOW!”  I know I can be a little impatient sometimes, meaning when I have fully made up my mind on something, I want to take the steps to accomplish it immediately.  However, this weeks’ little wake-up call to myself being all too vulnerable to being emotionally needy like the rest of the female population that I attempt to tell myself that I can be stronger than, has shown me that I truly needed someone to grab me by the shoulders, give me a good shake to wake up, and then look me straight in the eyes and say, “Sonya, REALLY!?!?!?!?? Shut up and just listen to reason.”

So…. this random post is for all of you men out there that may deal with women who become emotionally needy.  We are completely sorry you have to deal with this EVER!!!!  However, at the exact same time that I am apologizing for this I want to try to help you deal with it when you have to.  (And no, I’m sorry it does not always come every 30 days on a calendar as my little “momentary girly spout” did not, it was completely random…. so you cannot schedule it. LOL)  From what I can tell you, the absolutely WORST thing that you can do is to ignore us in these moments.  When girls get all “girly” all they really want and need is a really long hug, maybe some kisses, and to be reassured and reassured and reassured that we are okay, that we are special, that we are valued, that we are worth it.  I promise you that the “girly” phase will pass much quicker if you deal with it just like any math problem, and look at it as any issue we may bring to you to help us with around the house.  Instead of the household item breaking and needing figured out how to be fixed… it’s us that needs your “what can I do to help” moment.  And normally you cannot “fix” it… but you CAN be there, you CAN help it pass much faster by just doing a little extra reassuring of us (even if you have to roll your eyes… just don’t let us see you rolling them because we might cry and think we’re not worth it! HAHAHAHA)…. I know I know, this is silly!  Believe me… I felt silly feeling this way!  BUT hey, we are girls…. you like us being girls right!?!?!?  Well, I guess this comes with ALL girls at one point or another!  So… hopefully you can learn to deal with it in a loving manner and hopefully I have helped give you a little insight into getting through it with us.

The reason that this is SUCH a surprise to me, that even I can be so girly and need such affirmations???  Well, have you ever read “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman?  If you haven’t; you should!!!!  In fact, if you want to know what your love language is, go here and take this short test:  I own this and about every other relational, communication, and leadership book.  I love learning about people, personalities, and how to best talk with, work with, communicate with, different people in order to best succeed on all levels of life (personally, professionally, spiritually, etc.).  Okay, back to the opening sentence of this paragraph.  The reason that this is SUCH a surprise to me, that even I can be so girly and need such affirmations, is because “Words of Affirmations” is in my bottom two.  What that means is that I don’t really NEED to be verbally affirmed to feel loved… at all.  So, ummmm, yeah…. I get a little surprised when I feel all emotionally needy! HAHAHAHA  In fact, it hit be straight across the face with a great big, “Yes, even YOU can get this way!”  Humbling… yes.  Fun… no!  LOL



Big sigh…. a little laugh at myself…. and a great big wish that I wasn’t all emotional sometimes…. and even still a thankfulness that God has reminded me that I am human, and that I need other people, and that I need HIM still every day!

Sonya… She Idealist.

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