Do you ever have moments when you feel emotionally needy? I like to usually think that I am Superwoman, and have great control over my emotions. Well, let me just tell you that I have discovered that even I…. yes, even Superwoman can feel all girly and emotional. And you know what I discovered through this realization? Feeling girly & emotionally needy sucks!!!!! HAHAHAHA
Okay, so I ran into my emotionally needy side this week, and she needs a serious slap in the face and a wake up call to reality! I mean seriously! I couldn’t even put up with myself! HA!
(OMG - I laughed SO hard when I saw this apology e-card for being emotionally needy, as I was searching for an image to use for this post!)
Since I am an analyzer and try to be very self-aware and always learning, I have decided to take this as a learning experience and a very humbling one at that. The Lord seems to be telling me to “just be okay” with something specifically and my little vulnerable girl inside of me that tries to pretend she’s all big & bad & tough all of the time is throwing a complete tantrum, much like that of a 2-year-old child in a store that isn’t getting her way, screaming “but I don’t WANT to just be okay, I want it NOW!” I know I can be a little impatient sometimes, meaning when I have fully made up my mind on something, I want to take the steps to accomplish it immediately. However, this weeks’ little wake-up call to myself being all too vulnerable to being emotionally needy like the rest of the female population that I attempt to tell myself that I can be stronger than, has shown me that I truly needed someone to grab me by the shoulders, give me a good shake to wake up, and then look me straight in the eyes and say, “Sonya, REALLY!?!?!?!?? Shut up and just listen to reason.”
So…. this random post is for all of you men out there that may deal with women who become emotionally needy. We are completely sorry you have to deal with this EVER!!!! However, at the exact same time that I am apologizing for this I want to try to help you deal with it when you have to. (And no, I’m sorry it does not always come every 30 days on a calendar as my little “momentary girly spout” did not, it was completely random…. so you cannot schedule it. LOL) From what I can tell you, the absolutely WORST thing that you can do is to ignore us in these moments. When girls get all “girly” all they really want and need is a really long hug, maybe some kisses, and to be reassured and reassured and reassured that we are okay, that we are special, that we are valued, that we are worth it. I promise you that the “girly” phase will pass much quicker if you deal with it just like any math problem, and look at it as any issue we may bring to you to help us with around the house. Instead of the household item breaking and needing figured out how to be fixed… it’s us that needs your “what can I do to help” moment. And normally you cannot “fix” it… but you CAN be there, you CAN help it pass much faster by just doing a little extra reassuring of us (even if you have to roll your eyes… just don’t let us see you rolling them because we might cry and think we’re not worth it! HAHAHAHA)…. I know I know, this is silly! Believe me… I felt silly feeling this way! BUT hey, we are girls…. you like us being girls right!?!?!? Well, I guess this comes with ALL girls at one point or another! So… hopefully you can learn to deal with it in a loving manner and hopefully I have helped give you a little insight into getting through it with us.
The reason that this is SUCH a surprise to me, that even I can be so girly and need such affirmations??? Well, have you ever read “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman? If you haven’t; you should!!!! In fact, if you want to know what your love language is, go here and take this short test: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/. I own this and about every other relational, communication, and leadership book. I love learning about people, personalities, and how to best talk with, work with, communicate with, different people in order to best succeed on all levels of life (personally, professionally, spiritually, etc.). Okay, back to the opening sentence of this paragraph. The reason that this is SUCH a surprise to me, that even I can be so girly and need such affirmations, is because “Words of Affirmations” is in my bottom two. What that means is that I don’t really NEED to be verbally affirmed to feel loved… at all. So, ummmm, yeah…. I get a little surprised when I feel all emotionally needy! HAHAHAHA In fact, it hit be straight across the face with a great big, “Yes, even YOU can get this way!” Humbling… yes. Fun… no! LOL
Big sigh…. a little laugh at myself…. and a great big wish that I wasn’t all emotional sometimes…. and even still a thankfulness that God has reminded me that I am human, and that I need other people, and that I need HIM still every day!
Sonya… She Idealist.